Live Mocha

Another great site on the WWW. I recently stumbled on LiveMocha, which is sort of a language learning site coupled with minor social networking abilities. It's awesome!

Anyone with a connection can log on and pick up a new language. All this with the assistance of some really neat self-taken courses, or you can make new friends and chat with them!

Amazingly, all this is free!

www.livemocha.com

It's Christmas

and I'm feeling good.

Sitting here listening to a Christmas CD makes me think of how amazing it is how much this holiday affects people. I can understand a universal appreciation for New Years; hey everyone needs to have a new year right?

But wow. Take a fat jolly bearded dude, dress him up in white and red, have him giving out freebies? You've got the ingredients of a happy holiday. This is despite the fact we don't have reindeer, snow, or sleds around.

So here's to you Christmas. To the rest of you, enjoy this wonderful season. You know who you are. ;)

Disgusting

(Warning: Rant ahead)

Fly fm has this segment they call 'Fix It', where people send in their problems to get them... sorted. Some are good and legit issues, and some are just seriously messed up. I heard one the other day that just made me cringe.

The conversation went something like this:

Fly: Hello XXX, blablabla, we've got your msg, and you say that you have no money to shop during this holiday because you're just a temporary worker/intern.

Girl: Oh yes yes, blabla poor me, bla bla bla.

Fly: (Jokingly. They try...) We sorted a way to get you some cash. You just need to help us wash some cars.

Girl: (In the most whiny, pathetic, put me out of my misery voice) Alahhhh.

Fly: Okok. We don't wanna waste your time, so we've decided to give you RM300!

Girl: (As bimbo as you can sound) Yay. My problems fixed. bla bla bla!

It was one of the most disgusting conversations I've heard. All this girl wants is some cash and is obviously allergic to any form of effort in regards to obtaining it.

I'm not sure who to blame. Western culture for introducing holiday spending? Aku-tak-kisah mentality of spoilt kids brought up badly? or a bad decision for a radio station to oblige such an asinine request.

Phuket oh Phuket

Like I was saying, I had a great time at Phuket. Sun, sea, sand, and a 5 star resort just makes you feel like you're in heaven. Here are a few pics that I took during my stay.

The 'chics' you see in there? They're all ladyboys. Crazy stuff, but that's Phuket for ya.

http://picasaweb.google.com/nimnoospay/PhuketNov07

The pill of knowledge

In the shower today I was thinking, "Gee, wouldn't it be great to know everything?". My earlier post talked about memories being chemicals stored in your brain, much like a hard drive. Imagine that one day in the future, when nano-technology is at its zenith, a pill will be invented to incorporate the entire sum of knowledge available to mankind at that point.

Just one pill, and you'd have the cumulative knowledge of everything man has ever 'studied'. Possible? Yep. Desirable? Now that's open to discussion.

I think the initial negative response would be "Wouldn't it make life predictable/boring/too easy?" I don't think so.

1. It's not an 6th sense pill, so despite knowing EVERYTHING about that car speeding towards you, you're not going to know if the driver will in fact hit you or not.
2. Man naturally learns new things all the time. The pill can only contain so much information as new things are continually being discovered. So it's a matter of taking the pill, and continuing that discovery.

Of course, only the richest people will have access to it, thus probably resulting in the continuous adage of 'The rich get richer, while the poor get fucked over".

The messages we send

I realize it's been awhile since my last post. The past couple of were heavy with work, but I had a great opportunity to go to Phuket earlier this week for 4 days! Thanks BBDO ;) (more about this on the next post)

On the way home from the air-port, passing through the USJ housing area, I realized something about the way we've started barricading ourselves in. (If you're not familiar with the practice, think of it as a housing area sealing off all entrances/exits and posting a guard house at the designated point)

I think the default thought is that it's making things safer for the community (at least the ones in the barricade). However... I believe that subconsciously, this has a negative effect overall for the long run. Here's the equation that I think might happen instead:

The barricade represents a blatant acknowledgment that there ARE active criminals around. The longer the barricade is up, and the more of them you continue to see represents that things aren't getting better. If I were a criminal, I might be inclined to feel part of a larger majority now, thus giving me a 'safety in numbers' feeling.

If you were an 'invading' force, and your enemy has shifted from offense to defense, would you feel like you're winning the battle? I'd think so.

So what can a local community do to make it safer, without making things worse in the long run?

I do. For the time being.

I was when was reading an article about a male phenomenon called 'the thunderbolt', which supposedly happens to all of us at some point. It refers to the occasion when you set your sights on a girl that just absolutely and completely blows you away despite all rational sense that it will wreck havoc in your life.

Now, with all the knowledge of divorce cases increasing, and how our generation gets bored with their partners faster (than say our parents), would a new form of marriage agreement work?

What if couples sign an agreement; to love and cherish each other, in sickness and health, for 5 years? (renewable upon expiry)

Think about it.

1) With the knowledge that it's a limited time arrangement, couples could likely be more inclined to be better/nicer to each other.
2) More 'together' stuff would get done.
3) Expectations are lower; therefore exceeding them (which simplifies happiness) would be much easier.
4) At the end of the agreed time, you get a choice to continue being married or not.

Of course, children will be an issue. But heck, who needs em.

Story #6 - Purpose

Reflective of my mood at the moment.

-.-

His glory was long gone. He sat in his chair thinking of the days when the world had purpose for him. Struggling, he wonders, “How long has it been?”. It seems that memory has begun to fail him. Rust has claimed his armor. Once upon a time, it drunk its share of sunlight. His shield; the holes reveal a cozy rats nest. He raises his hand and gazes past it at the stone door. The age of heroes has passed. That he knew. “One day they’ll need me again. Until then, I shall wait.”, thought Arthur. And so he did.

-.-

Hope's a 4 letter word

Hope's a funny emotion. I believe it's one of the most powerful that we humans experience. It probably contributes a big part the energy that keeps us alive!

However, as crucial as it is, when it comes to certain things... it needs to be put down. Now here's the trouble. I'm not sure how. Anyone have any bright ideas?

I might be lost seeking rainbows and chasing shadows.

Story #5 - Influences

This was really inspired by my recent drugged frame of mind. I've had this stupid cough for the past 3 weeks, and despite finishing nearly 3 goddamn bottles of cough syrup, IT'S STILL HERE.
So...here's an ode to my cough.

-.-

Things seem real funny in a cough syrup haze,
My body feels not of my own,
My vision is all blurry in a cough syrup haze,
A perfect sentence just comes out as a groan.

My hands feel like jelly in a cough syrup haze,
I’ve scalded myself with hot water,
It’s alright though cause I’m in a cough syrup haze,
Pain now might translate into laughter.

Lie down they say when in a cough syrup haze,
You can’t walk straight much less drive,
It’s one helluva ride this cough syrup haze,
Just one spoonful, go ahead, take the dive.

-.-

Think like a burglar

There has been quite a few break ins in Subang lately. Standing on the road outside my house, I took a look around, and tried to think like a burglar. What would be his criteria?

If I were to break into a house;

1) I'd typically start with an external evaluation. A neat looking yard would be appealing. It tells me that the people inside would probably be more meticulous in life, and that quality should transfer in them being a little more financially successful than their messier neighbours.

2) Of course, a nice car is a great cue.

3) There should be no kids. Money would've been spent buying toys etc. I'd rather a young executive looking couple cause they'd probably have nicer stuff. However, an older couple would probably result in them having more cash/jewellery in hand.

4) A nice house sandwiched between two scruffy looking ones would be great. If the neighbours are bums, it's less likely they'd care if they saw me.

5) No dogs!

This list would probably be over-analysis to the lay-burglar. He probably goes "Hm.. they're out/asleep. Sweet". =\

What would you add to my list?

What do animals taste?

A peculiar conversation triggered this thought. (aren't those the best?)

Those of you that did science would've learned that different parts of our tongue register different tastes; Bitter, sweet, salty etc

We humans have labeled these tastes as such, so sweet tastes... sweet.

Do animals register the same tastes as we do? Is sweet to a dog the same as us? When mosquitoes suck our blood, does it taste like iron to them like it does us?

Or is it 'sweet' to them?...

How retarded can people get?

I was at Giant today, our now-not-local Hypermarket, and I witnessed a few disgusting sights.

1) The 'fast lane' where people are supposed to have 10 items or less.
- Some morons evidently don't read, or they probably ARE retarded so they believe they're somehow special.

2) The flag-lines in the store
- Evidently Giant seems to have insecurity issues. They need to plaster every possible visible surface with flags that say "The best deals in town", "Where Malaysians shop", "Giant" (LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHERE I BLOODY AM!)

I've honestly seen theme parks with less fanfare. They should fire the moron in charge of store layout, and hire a clown. At least some people will be entertained.

Power judging

In the news today, there was this guy that was convicted for pissing on a disabled woman as she lay dying. It happened somewhere in the UK, where this sod was drunk/high and thought it was amusing that this lady had fallen from her wheelchair. They actually called an ambulance later on, but the lady was already dead (not caused by the guy).

Certainly a deplorable act, this was supposedly a one of a kind conviction. What hit me was what the judge said; "You have plumbed the depths of depravity". Now if that isn't a power packed line, I don't know what is. It's often that the newspapers quote judges, and they're usually very good lines.

Do these judges have a list of 'judgment quotes' in front of them when they sentence? Is it spontaneous?

Or since the decision is primarily made by a jury, the judge is pretty bored during the session. Plenty of time to rack his brains for a 'FINISH HIM' line.

What happens during...

a dream/flashback scene in a live audience show?

You know those sitcoms where they're acting out a scene in front of a live audience? Suddenly a character says, "Gee, I remember those days..." *cue cheesy dream music*.

If I'm amongst the live audience, do I then focus on a big screen showing this flashback?

And what if the story 'twists' where you think you're watching what's really happening, when it's actually a dream instead? Am I, as the live audience, privy to this information, thus spoiling the 'surprise'?

Hmm...

[untitled]

So living in the trees didn't work out. There wasn't a plug point for my Xbox.

Sure we have a lot to be thankful for in this country. I know the facts and figures; despite my griping, I am, alongside you my reader, probably in the top 5% economic demographic in this country.

I guess I just have no faith in the management of this place. So I'm making decision 1.

I'm gonna get mine.

Stuck in the 2nd world

Of late, we've been experiencing a serious bout of inflation. Being a middle class citizen, it's unsettling to see the purchasing power of your hard earned RM being reduced. Couple that with an already unfavourable exchange rate, and you've got yourself some serious angst.

We live in a 3rd world country, earning 3rd world income, but are at the mercy of global price movements. At the same time, if you're reading this, it's likely that you've grown up with 1st world exposure, thus leading to 1st world wants and dare I say it, needs. There sure as hell isn't a Made in Malaysia Xbox 360!

So we're stuck in the middle of these two 'worlds', and I'm just wondering which would be easier.

1) Use that angst to strive to gain more 1st world stature/items?
- Understand that this requires not only enormous resolve, but killer hard work and discipline.

2) Accept and LIVE a 3rd world life.
- Doing this would mean this might be my last post before I sharpen my tools, strip naked, and run off to live in the trees... with my Xbox of course.

Fate strikes again

I think life's interesting most of the time. I do believe in a higher power/s, and for some reason, I think they're having a good time at my expense. (ooh the arrogance!) Here's another story to hang on my virtual wall.

The other day I went to the hospital to do a health check that required me getting a chest x-ray. Of all dozen or so doctors behind the counter, there was this really cute one that I saw. So naturally I just said a small prayer hoping that she'd be the one to 'serve' me.

Lo' and behold, she called my name! So blablabla with the forms/details/x-ray, which were done in less than 5 minutes, then she tells me to wait for her while she gets my file to another (more senior I assume) doc to approve.

So as I waited, I'm thinking, "Jeez, she's cute, and she did give me a neat smile when she asked me to take my shirt off. Maybe I ought to ask her out". (yes we are that simple) A few minutes of nervous fidgeting later, I decided I was going to do it. I thought up the lamest line I could think of, and even got out my business card so I could slip it to her quick like... and I waited..

And waited.. (I could see her scuttling around)

And waited.. (She's glancing my way, yessah!)

And waited.. (She disappears for a prolonged time)

Till I got fed up and just wanted outta there, only to have this DUDE announce my name right that minute. So... disappointed... dejected... I made my way to the payment counter. There I thought, "Godsdamnit, I'm gonna walk right by there again, and if she's there, I'm bloody well walking in and giving her my card some way or another".

So after I pay them, I walk back there... and.. she's. just. not. there.

Gimme a break will ya'll? Sigh. =\

Story #4 - Monsters

Again, this one was inspired by a line I read from Gaiman's new book "Fragile Things". Once more, the last line I've unabashedly borrowed.

-.-
The man didn’t flinch as the carrot bits hit him in the face. “Great, at least I get a little snack”, he thought. "This sure beats sitting around the office; pandering to silly clients, making sure the boss sees you working, dodging politics like a damn circus act. All that for what? A pat on the back and a raise enough to buy more short term highs”. He looks upward and sees it smiling down at him, just as the lid shut. And as the water boiled, he thought to himself, “At least you knew where you stood with monsters”.
-.-

A Malaysian love song

Kinda mushy, but I'm in the mood. I had a post earlier last month about 'reg-girl' whom I saw again at a Merdeka gig in No Black Tie. During that event, a blues singer named Isaac Entry played a song, which till today, keeps popping up in my head.

Unfortunately, I only remember part of the chorus, and since this is just text, if you ever bump into me, I'll try and sing it for ya. It's REALLY catchy, and goes like this.

"You've got to buka-buka your mata. Because cinta. Can be so buta"

I'm not huge on the indie music scene here, but this has to be one of the better ones lines I've heard. Malaysia boleh! (that dude's a Sabahan or something)

Story #3 - Last stand

This one is inspired by a particular episode in 'The Sandman' by Neil Gaiman. The main character, Dream, faced a demon in a challenge of riddles. I borrowed the last line, which I found so powerful.
Also, it's a fitting story for an eternal optimist. ;)

-.-

“It’s almost cliché that our kind needs to brag, but I feel obliged to let you know just how special you are. The cost of my services rarely justifies the results, so I’m not exactly the first in line for simple murder. It was I that whispered foul into Cain’s ears. My hammer forged the arrow that brought down Achilles. Every blade that thrust into Caesar carried my mark. And do you honestly believe the assassin of Martin Luther was of mortal skill? Now, before I do you this honour, just who might you be?”

“I am hope”, said I.

-.-

Story #2 - Happily Ever After

A little more about this project. As I'm pretty new at this, so far the challenge to me seems to be able to draw a bigger story with the 100 words. For the moment, it seems like there's only enough room to draw out one characters' thoughts, or describe one moment in time. We'll see what comes up in the future. Enjoy. =)

-.-

Happily ever after. That’s what they told me. Bah. Let me give you a piece of advice. Stick to rewards of gold, land, fully furnished castles, and perhaps even livestock. Long haired blondes? Princesses? Enchanted damsels? Sure they’re great for the first few years but then comes the whining.

“Don’t leave your shields lying around! MORE ogre blood stains? Why do you have to spend so much time with your stupid sword?”. You’d think that having to vanquish evil-doers, demons, and other monstrosities are valid excuses, but no! “You’ve got to set an example for the kids”, they say. Bah.

-.-

Raya

It's the Raya season here, which I actually love. Foods great, public holidays, and fabulous traffic. What's there not to like?

Oh, and how can I forget our hard working law enforcers. Despite the heat, they diligently man obscure roads, making sure we abide by every rule for; I'm sure, our own safety. Even past midnight, when they must be tired from all that fasting, they seem to be inspired by this holy month to work even harder. Piety moves mountains.

Or was it the almighty Ringgit?

I can understand the pressure. It's the festive month. Everyone else is buying new stuff, and you've got 100 kids to feed. You need the extra dough. I get it. In fact, I don't even blame you. It's the system.

Work 11 years in the force to be paid RM1,000? Heck. I'd friggin mug someone under those circumstances.

So peace out Mr. Teh tarik chugging, Nasi Lemak stuffing, Saya Anti-Rasuah Policeman. Malaysia loves you.

D Day

I've been meaning to kick this project off earlier, but kept putting it off. This post contains the first (hopefully of many) of my '100 Words' series, which are simply stories exactly 100 words long, about pretty much anything I care to write about. I was inspired by Neil Gaiman, my favourite author, who wrote one such story in his book 'Smoke & Mirrors'.

So without further faffing, this one's about a special day for a special person. Hope you like it.

-.-

The first thing to greet her that morning was the ‘Beep’ of her alarm clock, followed by the annoying Dj who always seems to enthusiastically claim that every song he plays is ‘all new’. Bollocks. She honestly believes Tuesdays are no better than Mondays; nor any working day for that matter. She braves the curtains to be greeted by firsthand sunlight. Too much, too fast; she shuts it. 3 messages glow on her mobile; each wishing her a great one. “I’ll try”, she thinks. It starts to vibrate, revealing his call… and she smiles her first smile of her year.

-.-

Memory chemistry

I'm reading an interesting book right now called 'Social Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman. So far it's pretty good, albeit a lil technical. No mercy with the scientific terms.

In one small segment, he talks about memories. I've never really given it much thought, but according to him, they're actually chemicals in our brain that are 'stored'; much like the hard-drive you're running reading this right now.

It seems that throughout life, each time we 'access' a memory, it is re-written to take into account any new context/information.

The thought of that is just 'wow'. Imagine if we could isolate where these chemicals are exactly, and perhaps one day engineer them!

Wish you could visit the Bahamas? "Sure thing sir. This won't hurt one bit". You wake up with a complete memory of having a wonderful beach holiday with Jessica Alba!

Of course, the opposite of this would be something along the lines of 'The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', which I think has to be one of the coolest movies.

Would you like to have your memories messed with?

The sense of happiness

We humans have an interesting ability to tie emotions to our senses. Our 5 senses work in such an incredible way that they manage to summon up very specific feelings depending on the stimulus.

Perhaps the easiest one to begin with is sight. Seeing someone you love is a surefire way to bring up happy thoughts.

A great track does wonders for you when you're in the car waiting at the light.

I'm hungry right now, so I think the smell of a fresh waffle, with vanilla ice-cream and strawberry sauce is just perfect. So would the taste I bet.

The one thing I've yet to place is what tactile sensation would trigger happiness?... The closest thing I can think of is the feeling of sand falling between my fingers. =\

Frog 1 : Federal Highway 4,902,820,382,281

Awhile back I witnessed a sad sight on the Fed where this rodent took a one way ticket to the pearly gates.

Yesterday, on the way back home from work, I witnessed a surprising feat! The not-so-little frog that could, hopped its way past 3 lanes of traffic to safety! At roughly 7.30 I was on the fast lane where the fella just passed right in front of me. As I glanced back, it made it all the way without getting squished!

Once more, I can't help but wonder what the hellllllllllll was it thinking. I'm sure it's like a game going on. All the roadside creatures have a pot where they wager their chips (or used ciggy buds, leftover nasi lemak, Twisties, other road kill, etc) and the one that makes it across alive gets to claim the prize!

Of course, the odds of some fella taking the prize is slim. After all, after he makes it across, he's gotta go back to pick it up right? ;)

One finger

I'm pissed. That expression 'seeing red' is pretty damn real when it hits. With all the crime happening in this country and no end in sight, it makes you wonder when exactly the tipping point will come?

X children raped?
X houses burgled?
X knife-point muggings?
X cars jacked?

Today, my friend H was nearly abducted. She lives 5 minutes away from me at an area I used to cycle to for tuition when I was 15. Fast forward 10 years later, at bright-enough 7am in the morning, a full grown 25 year old seems to make a suitable target. Thank god for her friend that turned hero, but WHAT THE FUCK?

It's sad. It's infuriating. It's frustrating. I've lost faith that this country will ever feel 'safe' again.

To the drivers of the brown Proton Perdana WHH 5500, the countless other desperate fuckers, and the authorities who can't seem to buck up, this finger's for you.

The God of marketing?

I spoke about Luck in my previous post, and with the onslaught of the Halo 3 marketing campaign, I was/am sufficiently awed to write about the God of marketing. (GOM)

First of, unlike Luck, which is omnipresent, GOM would only need to be present in specific situations. Ie; Luck would need to be around me at all times because there IS a micron of a chance that I'd hit my keyboard keys wrong, resulting in it snapping off the panel, rebounding off the screen and into my eye, causing extreme pain *gasp* and possibly blindness.

GOM on the other hand, has jurisdiction over any situation that requires negotiation and/or persuasion.

I know, I know, you could call him (him or her?) the God of persuasion, but let me be!

So yeah, when GOM's on your side, you shall have the power to sell whatever wares you have, including yourself. At the bar trying to impress someone? He's on the job if you score major points, or perhaps he'll send his lesser self 'The God of Don't let me say something stupid', or 'God of Stop staring at her boobs' if he wants to watch you navigate tougher terrain.

Right now I'm just wondering if he's by my side. If my rambling resulted in any form of positive facial muscle moving, thanks GOM. You're the best!

Lady luck

Warning: Some ranting ahead.

I've recently had a spate of bad luck. It really does seem to happen in spurts. Amongst the things that've happened include my Xbox dying; the repairs of which will cost me RM250, realizing that my sense of humour could've possibly given me the title 'weirdo' amongst some new colleagues, and a routine back exercise gone wrong, resulting in me sitting here typing in pain. All this in one week!

Sweet frikkin as.

After all that, I paused and wondered about luck itself. Itself? Herself? Himself? It's often that you hear the westerners call her Lady luck. So my guess is that if she's hanging around you, you're lucky. If she's gone away, you've gotta watch your back extra close (literally in my case).

So where would luck go? I mean, there ARE 6.7 billion people on the planet and a whole bunch of them can be lucky at the same time. That, coupled with my belief that she's pretty much omnipresent, tells me it's not an issue of lack of woman-power. So the 'her' that's usually with me is simply unavailable at the moment.

Maybe I did something to run afoul of her favour - Can't recall any misdeeds in the past month..

Maybe she's on a vacation - It's springtime in New Zealand after all. Great time to visit the botanical gardens in Christchurch.

Perhaps she's on a date - She's probably having a wonderful meal with... who would she date?

Wherever she is, whatever she's doing, I hope she comes back soon. *crosses fingers*

Truth well told..

..lies well sold. That's what I was told by a colleague on my first day on the job. This Dilbert piece reminds me of what I do for a living. How do I sleep at night you ask? Of late, very well thank you. =)

(borrowed from dilbert.com)

Annoy someone today!

(DIY chef)






















Last week we went to Food Foundry for lunch. Hats off to Kimberly, with a little assistance of Marjorie, whom both managed to annoy the hell out of our waiter.

It starts with Kim whining to the poor dude about her favourite tea variant missing from the menu. He gives her the eye. (no not 'that' eye) Then Marj goes on to ask which pasta is better? The beef or the chicken one? I could've sworn I heard his knuckles crack (while holding his paper notebook)

Later on. Marj innocently asks for some chilli flakes. He fetches it, only to return and have Kim ask him for some salt and pepper.

Finaly, he gets back and goes:
"Salt. *plonk* Pepper. *plonk* Chilli sauce. *plonk* Anything else?"

The tabasco was already on the table. Lucky for Kim or he might've splashed some into her colour-contact-lensed eyes.

Tasered

Some of you might have heard of that college kid being tasered in the States. You can see it through this youtube vid; essentially he asks ex-presidential candidate John Kerry some scathing questions, and got his ass handed to him by the cops.

Police brutality issues aside, I thought it was an interesting situation for John Kerry. I'm unaware of his future political plans, but I think this incident might've just sunk whatever ship of hope he has.

My opinion is this; he had 3 possible routes of action:

1) Allow the kid to get his questions off, and answer them (acknowledge or deny, it doesn't matter)
2) Asked the authorities to stop man handling the kid
3) Do nothing

He chose route 3, which I think was a mistake. By taking action, it would at least show he had a spine. I really believe that not doing anything lost him any shred of respect he had left, at least from this particular demographic.

Smile damnit!

Sony has just launched this new model called the T200. The interesting thing is that it has a new tech feature built in called the 'smile shutter' or something like that. Essentially, it auto-snaps the photo as soon as it detects your subjects smiling.

'Huh' you say? Ditto.

Sony's making a few assumptions with this one:

1) You're a dumbass that can't snap photos quick enough if your friends are smiling.
2) No one loves you enough to smile for a shot.
3) Your friends are possibly clinically depressed.

Now I don't know how the tech really works, but try and imagine the situation:

a) One friend smiles first before the other's got his finger out from his nose *click*
b) You're taking photos at a party and people are smiling/laughing/moving around *clicketyclicketyclick*

LMAO

We all know that the advent of the internet/instant messaging/chatrooms have spawned a slew of words or abbreviations that you otherwise wouldn't have used. I just read about a great one from Seth Godin's blog, which is used in conversations with active bloggers/self publishers.

It's NYFB - Not for your blog; when the topic is sensitive and you don't want the world to know about it. How awesome is that?

Another interesting one I've read is POTS, which is used mainly by teens with nosy parents. Parents Over The Shoulder seems awful long to type, even when you're a teen that types at the speed of a chipmunk with severe caffeine overdose.

Any weird ones to add to this list?

Unity after all

Two days ago I went to get my passport renewed. The bastard process took 2 1/2 hours, but the collection time was 2 hours later, so I suppose there's SOME improvement over the past few years.

As I sat there waiting and reading, I noticed that the old Chinese guy in front of me started bitching about the service/delay with an Indian lady sitting on the row beside him.

While the duo was missing a Malay representative to complete a menage-a-trois, it warmed my heart to see that there is some unity in this country after all. All we need is a common enemy.

Let's give it up for the power of hate! Woo!

Gotta love jap chicks

Stumbled upon this article about the latest fad amongst Japanese teen girls. (I just needed an excuse to post up this incredibly hot picture)

The OTT eyelashes look incredible, but there's a few things I'd like to know:

1) What are the odds of them blinding themselves by accidentally blinking wrong?

2) If you're only doing it on one eye, and consistently enough, would the extra weight create some sorta 'lazy eyelid' effect?

2a) Could that really be sexy by someone's books?

3) The chick on the right looks like she's got a caterpillar on her eye. Would a passing bird make that mistake? *wince*

Hm.. making out with them would be interesting.

Tabula rasa

Ever wish you had a chance for a fresh start?

I first heard of this phrase from a colleague that tattooed it to her wrist. In a gist, it's Latin for 'clean slate', and its philosophical essence simplified infers that we're born as blank sheets to be filled.

In the past couple of months, there have been a few things happening in my life that put me in a introspective mood. Good and bad, I suppose they made me sit up and realize a few things about myself. If you've ever paused and noticed the recurring patterns (hopefully not nightmares) in your life, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Unfortunately, there's no reset button in life. Everything we do has made its mark, with consequences immediate or delayed. The best we can do is make what little adjustments we can, and hope for the best.

Au revoir

Yesterday was my last day serving at this company. It was hard leaving that front door for the last time (professionally at least). I will probably drop by there to have a look see sometime later.

This post is for the select people at Saatchi that made it seem like a home. I'll be missing you guys alot. =`)

Scented air conditioning

Yesterday was a hot night, so I decided to sleep with the air-conditioning turned on. So far, my drive to conserve energy by decreasing that use has been good. More wins than losses anyway, but perhaps it's easier to do with the rainy weather?

So I was thinking, why don't people invent a scented air conditioner unit thingy. Imagine an in built tray where you could just drop some scent in, or a purposefully built air filter strip that you just need to replace every few months or so.

Or you could buy a Glade car-scent clip on. =\

The importance of heroes

I read a good article that was talking about the importance of heroes in our lives. It's almost intuitive to aspire towards a hero-like character in your life as they represent the type of qualities/ attributes you'd wish for.

"..what goals do for us on a day-in/day-out basis, heroism accomplishes over the course of a lifetime" - Dr. Brett Steenbarger

From the consumer work that I do, Malaysians seem to aspire towards their parents more often than not. They admire their dad for the hard work he's put in to build his business and yet raise his family. Mom's the greatest simply because of the love and patience she has. This doesn't seem to change much whether they're teenagers or adults. Occasionally a few mention figures like Lim Goh Tong, Dr. Mahatir, or Bill Gates but most can't really articulate anything truly unique about them. It's like they all mesh into one single character of vague virtue.

I'm not playing judge, but perhaps it might be more effective if we really find the time to pick out one (or two) people and try our best to get to know as much as we can about them.

You don't have to be 100% like them, but I'm convinced of the importance such a figure plays especially during the many trying times of life.

Now what would Homer Simpson do?... Hm...

R.I.P rodent

I witnessed a depressing sight on the way to work today. On the Federal Highway where it was about a good 6 lanes of cars moving (at high speed) one poor rodent decided to dance with death.
It lost.

I saw it scamper across as fast as it could from the right side of the road. That little bugger was pretty good; he made it past 3 lanes. Unfortunately, it got hit somewhere on the 4th. Strangely enough, it wasn't 'run over' like you'd expect after such an encounter. After the death car passed, it was thrown to the side... and lay there motionless.. past the 4th lane.

What possessed it to attempt that crossing? It looked large enough to be an adult, so I'd assume it'd have developed some sense of awareness about the dangers of fast moving large objects.
It must have been 'some' cheese.

Oh well. R.I.P little dude. Better luck next life.

The mechanics of fate

In my post slightly more than a week ago on dreams I mentioned a cute girl I saw once at an event 3 weeks prior. Let's call her Reg-girl, my unimaginative label for her being the person at the registration counter.

On Merdeka night, I went for a gig in No Black Tie (which was fantastic!) and there she was. Reg-girl. Now there are two ways of looking at this.

1) Over analyse it and call it fate.

2) Sheer coincidence.

Sad to say, I didn't speak to her. My excuse is that she was sitting amongst a large group at a table across a room that was packed like a can of tuna.

If the words "Alah, no balls say la" crossed your mind, you'd be spot on.

So did I just reject fate? Was that event meant to tell me something? With perfect 20-20 hindsight, I think the message is "Alah, get some balls man".

Yep.

A first

Saw this at a store in SS2. It's the very first emergency entrance I've seen. (It's a cyber cafe btw)

When it comes to a game or death situation, this spot has got it covered. You'd probably shave off 3 minutes walking through the 'regular' entrance.

Attendant: Sir I noticed you came in through our "emergency" entrance. Please provide us proof of your gaming desperation.
Gamer: Ggggahh. Gibbah gibbah killah nowah! *twitch twitch twitch*
Attendant: I'm sorry sir, you just didn't salivate enough. You'll have to queue up for your pc.
Gamer: Nyaaaaaaaaaaaargh. *fingers dissolve*

Wee Woo Wee Woo

Why are emergency sirens placed on top of vehicles? It's like a universal standard to have sirens on top. I'm sure there's a practical reason for that, but wouldn't it be cooler if they had them ringing the sides of the car or something?

Silly ponder

Earlier today I thought about this, but unfortunately right now I can't seem to remember how it started.

I was wondering if there were any types of food where if you did not eat it in sequence, it would spoil the entire experience? Ignoring multiple course meals, this would mean any dish that has multiple components that require eating it in sequence. I can't think of any!

When it clicks

My mom was saying that she needed a watch a few days ago, so I thought I might as well get an early birthday gift for her (since it's the sale season). Since I was getting mom one, I thought what the heck, I might as well get one for dad too.

The watch shop had way too many choices, but this pair kinda jumped out at me. It's funny how there are times when something 'speaks' to you. I could almost hear the mechanical squeaks of "Buy me! Buy me!". It's like that for a lot of things in life. Whether it's a shirt, a pair of shoes, or a person, it's nice when something clicks. Call it intuition; it's a great feeling to have when something feels so right.

Malcom Gladwell talks about something similar in his book 'Blink', though I'd recommend you skip that one and just read his classic 'The Tipping Point'. ;)

Delayed dreaming

From what I know, some people remember their dreams vividly. Others clear their dream cache as soon as they wake up. Only the more vivid ones are remembered. I tend to remember most of my dreams and what I'm curious about is the sometimes seemingly random insertion of people.

To me, it's normal to have entirely weird dream settings like spacecrafts, Vietnamese rice fields, and/or medieval castles. Got to have an imagination eh? =) However, what intrigues me is the appearance of people in dreams. Specifically, people that you might have met once a long time ago, or individuals whom you've never thought about (consciously) in ages.

My dream yesterday had a person whom I saw once. A cute receptionist at an event I attended. I didn't pick up any guts to chat her up then, but I never thought of her since that night. Lo and behold, she pops up in my dream yesterday! (I won't go into details, but it was 'fun') Lust? Random selection? What does this mean?????

*shrug*

What happened to 1901?

Before I write further, I confess to never having eaten at this place, but I've definitely seen it around. =)

Recognise the number? Yep. It's the very same 1901 hot-dog stand that you've probably seen in shopping malls around town. I did a double-take when I saw this in The Curve the other day. After verifying that it's indeed 'the' 1901, the first thing that went through my mind was "WTF" followed by "Why?".

Unfortunately I don't have a picture of the original 'brand', but I think this new look is really generic and lacks character. Also, this is a departure from their original strategy of simply having a hot-dog cart. We'll see if this works out for them in a few months.

Names pt.2

On the way to work today, I heard another piece of awful advertising. If you own an ATM card with MEPS capability, apparently you shouldn't call it an ATM card. It's called a Bankcard (or however you spell the damn thing)

At least that's what the ad's trying to tell me. It was a godawful 20-30s jingle that went along the lines of:

"... That's not an ATM card. It's a Bankcard! Call it by it's proper name, bla bla bla. Convenient payment, benefits bla bla bla that's the Bankcard. So call it by the correct name!"
(the tune to which this was sung is similar to how your 2 year old nephew belts out a random tune from reading a line in your morning paper)

What are these idiots trying to achieve? It's like an ad for handphones going "bla bla bla, it's a MOBILE PHONE not a handphone! So call it by the right name!"

I almost barfed up my breakfast laughing.

Names are important!

Ang Moh - The Hokkien term for 'white man'

I'm sure you've stumbled on your fair share of silly business names. I stumbled upon this one yesterday during lunch. (the banner was nowhere near the restaurant, nor were there any directions to it)

From the food pics, it could be Vietnamese. If Ang More means 'uber tasty' in Vietnamese then I guess their target market are people that understand Vietnamese. I don't know my migration statistics, but methinks that's a small amount of people.

If they're trying to attract Malaysians with a thing for western food, they've got their pictures wrong. It's like having a banner for a restaurant called Denny's and placing asian dishes on the front.

The only market left is if you're a Malaysian that hasn't heard of the term Ang Moh, and think it's a cute name. *shrug*

Despite my rant, it's not all that bad. The worse I've seen to date was a Vietnamese place (no I do not have anything against them) called Num Phuc. It's shut down now.

I wonder why...

Interesting times - August

After work yesterday, I did something that I've never done before. I played postman.

Getting out from my car, I noticed an envelope on the street (rolled over a few times). Upon closer inspection, turns out that it was for "Uncle Chong and family" scribbled in kid-write. The address was not my street, but it was close enough that prompted me to pick it up and go hunt. I found the place easy enough, but after delivering it, I had a few random thoughts.

1) The house I delivered it to didn't really look like an "Uncle Chong and family" place. It was more of an "Ah Chong's ah longs" house. (YES I got the address right) Did an Uncle Chong really live there?

2) If it really was the correct house, what impact did my actions have? Too many hollywood movies have made me wonder if I sparked off a chain of events that might never have happened if I left that letter alone.

Does any of it matter? Nope. Just another interesting event in my 'interesting' life.

Res-teppa

Most of us drag ourselves into the car every morning to make the long arduous journey to work. Some put on their own music, some poorer people (like myself) listen to the radio. Those that do, get bombarded with chirpy sounding people, and worse, chirpy advertising!

I must say though, I have much respect for the radio talents out there. The guy that does the pizza hut ads? He gets me all the time with his enthusiasm about sausage wrapped pizzas and cheese. I wonder how he puts himself in that 'mood' in order to communicate that the pizza itself is probably the most profound thing that's happened to him.

Then it hit me. He holds his breath! Think about it! What gets your adrenaline pumping like a little suffocation? Deprive yourself of oxygen while reading your lines and you wind up sounding like a pizza desperado whose life depends on it. (in the talents case, finishing his damn lines)

Goonandtryitandyou'lldiscoveri'mprobablyrightafterwhichyouwishyouhadn'tbecauseyou'refeelingratherfaint. *gasp*

Only cause Serena asked

My meme?..

What were you doing 10 years ago?
1997.. It was the year I read LOTR! haha. Great times in high school when you really didn't give a damn about anything other than girls and video games. Let's see.. what's changed.. hmm. ;)

What were you doing 1 year ago?
2006 was a stasis year for me. Read alot. Thought alot. Glad to say, learnt alot.

Five snacks you enjoy
Snicker bars, Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk, Peanut butter and banana sandwiches (with honey), Walkers crisps (though you can't really get them here), Cadbury Nuts and Raisins bar.

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to
Dookie, Move Along, God Shuffled His Feet, You Could Be Happy, Crazy

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire
Get a nice pad, spruce it up, buy a few new kennels for Paws, get mom a new car, invest the rest.

Five bad habits
Slouching at the desk (Doupe), murmuring in a conversation, lazy laundry guy, (hey i'm not gonna tell you everything!)

Five things you like doing
Movies, music, books, my Xbox 360, climbing/sports

Five things you would never wear again
Don't have that many clothes!

Five favourite toys
My N95, Xbox 360, www.netvibes.com counts?, a jobstreet.com stressball, my toaster oven (it rocks baby)

I believe i can fly

Funny picture I took at the 'Digi duck pond' in 1utama. We were wondering how the hell that tortoise got up there. Then I wondered why was it posing like that. A tortoise with a 'tude. =D

The thin line

This post is more of an early morning rant of a disgruntled sleeper.

Of late, in a bid to save electricity and do my little bit of ecological preservation, I've been sleeping without the air conditioning. Thankfully the monsoon season has brought us relatively cool nights, so by the time I hit the sack, temperatures aren't too bad and it cools down further as the night stretches on.

However, with the monsoon comes the damned mosquitoes. *rage* It was hell trying to sleep, and now I'm cranky. The situation is not without solution though.

1) Slather myself in Mopiko before bed; probably Malaysia's most popular mozzy cream. (with the possibility of rubbing it in my eye without realizing. *nyaaarrrhhh*

2) Turn on the air conditioning, which I did last night.

However, last night's sleep is lost. Sigh. *continues rage*

Hair Asia???

When I was out driving yesterday, I saw a peculiar truck. It looked like a huge Air Asia banner, but wait a second! It had 'Hair Asia' plastered on the sides instead!

From the 2 seconds as I was 'not' speeding by, it seemed like Hair Asia is some sort of portable hair salon service. (with no frills I betcha)

1) What the hell is a no frills hair-cut (assuming that it IS their sales pitch)
"Hokay sah, ere's ow it works. Your haircut is honly RM4. BHUT we honly provide the cutting. If you wanna to sit down, 'kerusi' kena rent. If you want more than one type of scissors, have to pay. If you want the plastic cover, that cost extra dollars. Hair wash all, longkang situ."

2) Do knock offs like these really work for a hair salon?
I should've taken down their number just to see if they'll be in operation 6 months from now. In my line, I see alot of FMCG (fast moving consumer goods) products that're made by local boys, but have an almost criminal resemblance to the international brand right next to it. I've seen it. It WORKS. People blindly pick the pack up without much scrutiny. (after all, some of these brands invested a large wad of cash to gauge their consumer reactions to the packaging design)

I bet they're really proud when moms go home and pick out their new purchase and go

"Doupe"

Pride?

Any Malaysian right now that's even remotely in touch with some media is bound to be hearing the 'Merdeka' call. After all, it's the 'Big 50', and boy are we proud of it.

50 years of independence? Yeah. Great. Woo hoo. Honestly, I'm appreciative of the living conditions I have. I've been blessed with a pretty nifty job, positive income growth, relatively decent living costs (there was an economic entity that claimed we were one of the cheapest countries to live in) and many more perks, so I don't really have an issue with our national fanfare.

However, the public announcement from one radio station made me cringe. I'm willing to bet I'm not alone.

It went something along the lines of "Be proud of your nation, bla bla bla. After all, we have the 3rd tallest building in the world and the longest pencil in the world (With so much enthusiasm I nearly barfed. Hey another lost word!)

C'mon.
3rd best country to live in? 3rd lowest crime rate in the world? Sure I'd be proud. 3rd tallest building? Gee. Now I KNOW we're on the map for that one.

And do we really need to beat our chests with claims of being able to accommodate giants with an aptitude for writing?

Come the f#ck on.

Lost words

I was crossing the road earlier when I saw a car that made a 'blunder'. He was basically on a traffic light but he didn't need to be there as there was a natural turning lane for him to take. Seeing him take the turn made me go 'opocok', which brings me to my topic today of words that you haven't used in AGES.

'Opocok' (I don't know if anyone knows this) simply means 'oops'. It's more elaborate and sounds a little funnier. Unfortunately, I can't really remember the origins of the word or where/whom I learned it from. The only thing I know is that I've not used it in ages and till a few hours ago, totally forgot its existence!

Thinking about it, there are a few more words (mostly cusses haha) that I've not used in awhile. Try and remember if there are any weird words that you knew, but have stopped using! Whee!

Tastes just like chicken

I read this article a few days ago. In a nutshell, they somehow linked some proteins from Mr. Rex to birds. I'm no scientist, so I won't try to explain what's in it, but I thought it was a catchy title.

Did it really taste like chicken? I don't know, but did you ever wonder where the phrase came from? If you think about it, there are quite a few types of meat that's available in a regular western diet.
No one ever calls the other meats 'just like chicken' (your usual suspects of beef, lamb, venison, turkey). So what would they have had to try to say it tasted like chicken? How many weird things would they have had to taste to coin that phrase?

Lets look at the Chinese diet. We don't go "Hou chi kai kam yeong" at all! Mind you, we eat anything that moves (and plenty of those that don't). If there's anyone that could've logically come up with it, it's the Chinese!

An inconvenient truth

I just had the pleasure of watching this amazing piece of work. Let me start by saying if you haven't had the opportunity to watch this, please do. I implore you.

Regardless of whether or not you've seen it, I'm pretty sure you would've heard of it. From whatever you know, before i get to my point, I think that most people (myself included) have a tendency of being affected 'in the moment'. The now is usually easy to feel... easy to create a response to.. easy to adjust... but the future is a different thing altogether.

How often does it happen that we make promises to change.. to act.. but don't? It's our nature to procrastinate and forget. Often enough, we make excuses. In this context, many will go "Oh, what can I possibly do to change the world?" However, I honestly believe you can make a difference.

I once read that Einstein called the power of compounding the 8th wonder of the world. If he did, he's absolutely right. Let's say you (yes you!) switch off that dvd player after you're done. If everyone does that, the compounded effect will be tremendous! I think it's important that you start with something small (like that light bulb you like to leave on when you go to bed) The important thing is to be consistent.

After reading this, I hope for two things from you. 1) Watch 'An Inconvenient Truth' by Al Gore. 2) Take action.

We move along..

Those of you that know me personally might get the impression that I'm an eternal optimist. You'd be right to some extent. For some reason, I truly do believe that good things will come my way... eventually. Maybe it's because if I want something, I'm pretty darn persistent in getting it.

However, there are times... like today, when you've got to let go. As much as you believe in a particular dream coming true, reality still has the final say. At situations like this, you make decisions. It might not be the one that gives you the greatest happiness/satisfaction in that point in time, but I've learnt (still learning really) that it's equally important to make that call and to stick to it. Perhaps it's an illusion of control. *shrug*

If you've ever had to give up something precious, you'd understand. The only consolation is to try and think of the bigger picture. Maybe the door you just closed opened up another one.

Or maybe that door might one day open again.

Simple gestures

Those of you who've been overseas and experienced customer service there might relate to this. Your first thought would likely be, "Yeap, it's great over there. In Malaysia, it's non-existent". While on the surface I stand by that thought, I'm beginning to believe that perhaps it's us as customers who might need to 'give' first, in order to 'receive'.

I think that customer service work can be a real bitch (I've a fair share of experience working with people/strangers). More often than not, here in Malaysia, as a trooper on duty, you'll probably be regarded as highly as the cobbler in front of a LV store. (no offense to any reading this)

Admit it. We've all done our fair share of jumping to conclusions that 'customer service personnel' are of no help at all. Fair enough in some situations.

However, when you're actually in need of some service, here's what i find helpful. Since these poor souls receive the amount of attention dedicated to a fly, giving them anything more sometimes makes their day a little bit brighter. Look them straight in the eye, smile and say hello. Then throw in a "How are you?". This usually stuns them for a few seconds. Smile again, and ask politely about whatever it is you're looking for. Still stunned, they're likely to stammer their way through an answer, hopefully one that's relevant to your question. Finish off with a simple "Thanks. Have a good day." If you're feeling particularly generous, ask their name.

So far, this seems to work for me. They look more interested in trying to help and some go out of their way to do it. Plus the stunned look and occasional smile makes it worth it.

Present for a friend - RM50.00
Wrapping paper - RM2.00
The "I exist" look on their faces - Priceless.

He said she said

I was watching a little bit of the Ellen Degeneres show this morning (I got timeee) and there's her usual intro ad libbing. 2 minutes into saying hi, she goes on to ask "Are you all having fun!?" What do you think happened? Pat yourself on the back if you thought, "They cheered lah".

Of course. That's what happens when you're in a nice fancy talk show, ready to be given freebies. (which i'm sure is worth more than the ticket price they paid to be on that episode) However, what struck me was the power of suggestion. I know this might be a bad analogy to start with; Ellen being a celebrity and all that, but think about it! By her 'telling you' that you're having fun, and you agreeing to it, you're effectively signing a personal contract with yourself to say "Yeah, i'm having fun alright! Who cares if her ad libbing sucks!". After the show, i wonder how many of them go home and tell their friends, "Nyeh.. it was alright". (my guess is little to none)

My question is, if you convince someone to agree to your point (maybe you don't give all the information) early on in the game, would you have an easier time of 'maintaining' that perception?

Now to find a situation where i can test this. Hmmm..

Aren't you having fun reading this?!? =D

The unbearable weight of being

I stumbled on this poor creature in Mid Valley Megamall. I'm sure the shopkeeper just wants the toy to be free from the molesting hands of eager (but grubby) kids. Maybe a few adults too.

Isn't it a little sad if you had a sign like that taped (nay, clipped!) to you. Especially if your very purpose of existence was to be hugged/cuddled!

I brought that up to D, a friend that was with me at this sighting. She made an interesting comment though. What if the poor toy didn't want all that attention anyway? It could've wished it was made of rocks instead! Sharp ones preferably.

A haptophobic soft-toy. There's a thought.

(..or the owner of the store is REALLY good, and that sign was INTENDED to inspire pity. Some other person might have already liberated it for all i know!)